Drag Race UK Season 3 Episode 9 Recap: The Pearly Gates Roast

The semi-finals saw, Kitty Scott-Claus, Krystal Versace, Vanity Milan and Ella Vaday take to the stage in a comedy roast where they would have to read themselves, the judges and the audience filled with eliminated queens.

Following the non-elimination, the top four were happy to still be in the competition but voiced their concerns that Vanity had not yet been eliminated and had the least amount of badges – among that her badge had been the result of a group win not an individual challenge.

The next morning in the workroom Krystal was not feeling well but appeared determined to rise to any challenge and with that Mama Ru announced this weeks main challenge; a stand-up comedy roast where they would have to roast themselves, the judges panel, including special guest judge Kathy Burke and the season 3 eliminated queens. as the winner of the most badges and current front runner, Ru have Ella the task of assigning the running order of the show.

While non of the queens have experience with stand-up comedy, Kitty and Ella have proven themselves as Comedy queens throughout the competition.

With that, Ella chose to play tactically when assigning the running order, placing the weakest person first, Krystal and then herself ensuring she’d look good, then Vanity and closing with Kitty.

On the main stage Ru was joined by Michelle Visage, Alan Carr and Kathy Burke.

Krystal came out first, with a set that include jokes mostly about age and her virginity and making digs at the judges for having none of those things. There was laughter from the judges panel but it didn’t seem to be at Krystal’s jokes, more so at the awkward tension that was building up in the room because of how unfunny it was. When Krystal “joked” at Veronica making another age related comment, Veronica heckled with “the only thing getting old are these jokes.” Which was the funniest part of Krystal’s whole performance and when your hecklers are funnier than you, it’s not a good sign.

Ella proved herself a strong competitor, she was confident, walked away from the podium using much of the stage for her performance and never looked at her notes. She truly embraced the challenge, roasting the judges and her fellow queens.

Vanity is not a comedy queen… she spent her time defending her choice of constantly wearing Orange on the runway, it wasn’t a roast and it wasn’t funny. Naturally this spurred on some heckling from the other queens and for a moment Vanity came off script and started going in on the crowed but just as quickly as it started it ended — WHY? For a moment Vanity’s train wreck of a roast could have been saved if only she had brought more of that badass diva to the stage.

When Kitty hit the mic her confidence was the first thing you noticed, however it became quickly noticeable that she was reading from a script and she constantly needed to refer to her notes which partly took away from the experience. But, she WAS funny and in comparison to Krystal and Vanity she smashed it.

After the roast, the girls walked the catwalk in the “Oh My Goddess” category.

During critiques the judges loved Krystal’s runway but were unimpressed with her limited subject matter in her roast wishing she had made more than just age jokes. The judges were proud of Ella’s performance and noted how sharp her jokes were. Vanity was critique for playing it safe and not following through when she went in on the crowd. While Kitty was called “superior” by Kathy but was clocked for looking at her notes so much.

Backstage the girls were surprised with video messages from their loved ones back home. Ella heard from her boyfriend, Kitty got a message from her parents, Krystal saw her parents and siblings, and Vanity was greeted by a message from her husband.

Once back on the main stage, Ella was announced the winner of the challenge, extending her frontrunner status with four badges. Next, Ru announced Kitty as safe and have her a deserved spot in the finale.

That left Vanity and Krystal to lip sync for the last spot in the top three.

However, after three previous trips to the bottom the only thing that could have saved Vanity a fourth time was Krystal bombing — which she didn’t. Therefore, Ru had no other choice but to give Krystal the spot in the finale say “sashay away” to Vanity.

Candice Farrow

Fashion and lifestyle blogger from North East, England.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s